L A Johannesson

Romantic fiction with a geeky twist

L A Johannesson - Romantic fiction with a geeky twist

roman’s rules

Roman’s Rules Of Online Dating

Throughout the novel, Roman provides Kayte with some helpful tips for getting the most out of online dating.

Maybe they’ll help you too!

Rule #1

While the words you use to present yourself to the online dating world are important, there is nothing more critical in your profile than the photo.  It has the ultimate power to attract or repel.  Make it a good one, one you’re proud of and one that actually looks like you.

Rule #2

Have at least 2-3 chats before meeting. Make sure you’ve had enough to get a feel for this person  you are going to meet. Make sure you are comfortable enough that you have some things in common and that they aren’t a threat, but don’t have so many chats that once you meet, you already know everything about each other or that if you find that there’s not a drop of chemistry you’d look back on them and see them as a  waste of time.

Rule #3

Never break the first date because you’re apt not to get a second chance.  There are lots of guys and gals swimming around in these online dating pools. If you’re not prepared to dive in and take your place beside your chosen one, there are many others who will, So don’t give them that opportunity.

Rule #4

Make sure a friend, colleague, neighbor, someone you trust knows the details of who you are meeting, any contact information you have about them, where you are meeting and when… just in case.

Rule #5

After a good date, schedule another date with someone else as soon as possible afterward. Sounds crazy, but it keeps your options open. You’re not sitting desperately by the phone waiting for your date to call again and it may help to provide a means for comparison either further proving it was a great connection or providing you with and even better one.

 Rule #6

Even if you think you’re getting serious about someone you’ve met online, you still need to spend time on the dating site to appear that you are actively dating. If your date sees that you’re not online for long periods of time, they may think that you’ve found what you were looking for either with them or someone else.

If after a date your presence disappears, some people may get a little spooked by that. If you like the person you’re dating don’t let them think you’re “all in” too soon.  Or worse yet, don’t let them think you’ve fallen for someone else.

Rule #7

If you’ve been on the site for a few weeks or months, you may need to refresh your profile. You need to keep it new and interesting.  Maybe just edit your opening line change a few words in your profile, try a different photo. If you do this, your profile then appears with the other new ones. It’s a good practice because many people just choose to view the new ones, using that as their primary sort. So you’ll want to be with the new profiles for maximum visibility.

Rule #8

Both parties should offer to pay their share of the tab for the first meeting. Connecting with people through online dating, you’re still not sure if there’s any chemistry so the man shouldn’t have to bear the cost of finding that out on all the dates.

If you find there is a connection and you make an actual date, then standard dating etiquette applies, but here you’re both still determining whether or not you want to date, so the cost should be shared equitably for the first meeting.

Rule #9

This relates back to Rule #1 but also refers to any further photos you may share as you get to know someone online. Limit the use of nudity, unless that’s really the impression you want to send loud and clear. If you wouldn’t wear what you’re wearing (or not wearing) into a bar, to an event or any other real life event where you meet people, you probably shouldn’t be using that type of photo to meet people online. Resist the temptation to have “keyboard courage” and share too much, too soon. Once it’s out there, it’s out there.

Rule #10

Once you’ve met and been on a date or two, or three, you need to be wary of the return to the cyber relationship.  While online interactions are great, you should probably move into and remain in real life, for you can divulge way too much through email and online chats and rush the process of getting to know one another rather than letting it unfold in person in a far more natural, authentic and lasting way.

 Rule #11

 Always be the first to exit the online interactions and conversations. Whoever does this leaves the other person wanting just a little bit more. Trust me.

Rule #12

To save time in the online searching for love process and in order to claim “first dibs” on the newbies, search through only the new profiles. Most sites gave you the opportunity to sort based on this criteria, so why not use it to your advantage?  Don’t waste time going through the masses, those who you had already seen and weren’t interested, in. You can go straight to identifying who’s new in the zoo, saving more of your valuable time for interacting and actually meeting.

Rule #13

Be wary of how much time you give this and don’t let this become a substitute for real life experiences. So many people get an emotional high from their online interactions and many fail to evolve the relationship to make meaningful connections in person.

Online dating, with it’s payoffs and challenges, should be thought of as a means to an end, not an ongoing practice that becomes part of your daily life for long periods of time. That’s how addictions are formed.


Do you have any others you think Roman should add to his list? Enter them in the comments below.

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